Can you trust people you just meet to be honest with you? After having been in SF for six weeks, and meeting several new people, I have started questioning myself. Instinctively you know when you will get along with someone but as we grow older we have a lot of stories. And sometimes I feel people manipulate them to their advantage to cover their insecurities.
Just because I am really honest doesnt mean that I can expect that of others. Can I? If I detect cognitive dissonance in actions and words should I stop and worry? Should I catch people when their actions and words dont match up. Its really different if you are part of a closed network because then you are meeting friends of friends and you invariably know the truth will leak out at some point.
But if you meet a stranger besides your gut feeling how can you trust them to be honest?
The things I have learnt so far…
I hate this playing it by ear business. I have seen it used more out here in the past few weeks than ever in my life. I translate that as “You are not really that important and if something better comes up, I will definitely be doing that. But I dont really want to tell you that and so I am going to play it by ear instead.”
So what does one do when someone says “Lets play it by ear.” Just assume thats its not going to happen and find a different person. Last night I went through a mental list of all my friends and how they interact with me. Noone plays it by ear. They just tell me they dont want to do it. And they call when they say they will. And they never ever blow me off unless its a major emergency. Jesse actually called me to let me know that he started working on a major project and wouldnt be available to hang out with me for 2 weeks. Talk about honesty. I think I am spoilt now with such honest communication.
I think unless you know someone really well, playing it by ear is a nice way of saying goodbye.